The biggest difference that I can see between summer and fall here in Phoenix is that the bottom finally drops out of the temperature range. And by this I mean that it actually cools off to a decent temperature here in the evenings.
Strangely, the high today was something like 88 degrees, which is a temperature we would typically see in mid-October. In fact, I was surprised at how much it feels like weather you would experience maybe a week or so prior to Halloween. So, it’s a bit unusual.
These transitional seasons always throw my whole life a little off-kilter. I seem to be really affected by them, and I’m not sure why. But I spent several hours today lounging around on the couch with the windows of my house open, enjoying some of the cool breeze that seems to be lingering for a couple of days.
I’ve been spending a bit less time with some of my close friends these days, for several reasons. First, two of my most common hang-out buddies have been busy lately with family commitments, work, or activities with their boyfriends, and I’m glad for them. I’ve also needed to cut back on expenses like entertainment and dining out, especially since I had to buy a new car late in the spring and put in about $1,000 in repairs. So, money is tight, and I’ve also been immersed in doing graduate school research and doing some planning and checking on some opportunities to take me further along a musical path.
So, it certainly is a season of transitions to go along with the change in weather.
Many of you readers, I’m sure, will have heard about a little incident I had at church last Thursday morning . . . possibly my first seizure. My mother has epilepsy, so I can’t say that I was surprised by it. I have to do a little checking, both with my doctor and with other people who were around to try to figure out just what happened. But I’ve felt a little overwhelmed and numb to the whole situation – kind of like it was some sort of really horrific dream. Now that I’m emerging from that shock, I need to take stock and try to figure out what the heck happened and what it means – on several levels.
Of course, I also need to try not to be paranoid about it happening again, since there probably isn’t much I can do to control it or avoid it without medication. Of course, I’m hoping it won’t happen again – but if it does, I’m hoping it happens sometime when I’m around all of my wonderful and supportive coworkers who really were a blessing to me in the midst of my delirium when I was waking up from it. I was really moved by how concerned so many people at my church were about the situation.
Over the past two days, I’ve been wondering a little bit about what kind of effects seizures have on your psychological state – I’ve felt less wound-up, anxious, and testy over the past couple of days. And it also seems that perhaps some of my other neuroses have mellowed out some. It makes me wonder if perhaps having an excess of some type of brain chemical contributes to this happening. But I also feel that my already bad memory just took another big hit. Not good.
I wish I had something more pleasant to write to you all tonight.
At least the weather is nice.
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